Oh, you thought your anime was good because it has your waifu? Wait, you thought your waifu wasn’t shit?!
But seriously, let’s begin on the 10 sins anime needs to stop committing for the love of GOD, if you don’t read this I will punch you in the nozzle.
First rule: STOP BREAKING IMMERSION TO EXPLAIN SHIT!!
How to have your anime explain shit:
Naruto’s explanation of Chakra was nothing short of spectacular, because any time they explained anything was either when an overpowered and arrogant enemy was gloating, or when the instructors thought their students needed to know something. Hidan and Kakuzu for example and the immortal verses of this is how you are going to die. Or Kakashi during the Chunin exams?
That was a classy way of explaining how your magic works, it didn’t break immersion, it felt relevant, it worked, and I even felt it would be significant later.
Now, anime like oh say . . . . . .Bleach, or K or heck even Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure?
That noise needs to :
In the case of Bleach, you are in a high speed fight against another person who is TRYING to kill you, why do you have the compulsion to explain how your power works? Why are you telling him this?
In the case of K? Why are you explaining to the guy you told that you promised somebody you would kill him? You are LITERALLY just a plot device to stall his escape right now.
In the case of Jojo, where the only Stand users who aren’t stupid enough to explain how their stands work to the enemy are Jotaro, Joseph, Avdol, Polnareff, and Kakyoin(When they weren’t DIO-fied).
The stand users they face are overpowered, stop giving them hints on how to deal with them, I can’t even tell you how disappointing DIO was as a final enemy...
HEY, I can freeze time!
So why are we still alive you cocky-fucktard?
Because DIO gets all the cocky he wants.
2nd Rule STOP EXPLAINING HOW YOUR ARTIFACTS OR MCGUFFINS WORK!
Do we know what a fucking imperial star destroyer is!? YES, do we know everything it does?! NO! Are we scared shitless of it!? YES!!!
No seriously, one of the BEST things about Battle Tendency of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure was the Red Stone of Aja. We knew the antagonist wanted it, we knew that they NEEDED it, they have no leverage so why not just destroy it? Because a prophecy passed down. Fine, that leaves us with questions as to why you would pull such a stupid move.
The Ending implies that whoever wrote that prophecy REALLY hated the Pillar Men, because their leader got a fate worse than death.
This is the thing, opening your plot devices to interpretation, getting the viewers to ask questions. We don’t give a shit about the 12 squad captains, yet for some reason we wanna know more about The Final Getsuga Tenshou.
While we’re on the topic of shit that doesn’t explain itself to death? What made YuGiOh! so interesting? It Was that the cards CLEARLY had lore and explained NONE of it. We got maybe a few shots here or there, but even the lore explained left us with questions.
Your anime is more interesting when you aren’t filling discussion time with what the key of twilight does.
3rd Rule, stop lazily putting dye-haired characters with stupid hair in a setting that is REALLY not befitting.
Why is his hair like this? Because it identifies him as the lead? Why not have the lead play a game and win in the beginning like Yugioh? (ugh bad example.)
Look, FMA didn’t need to dye Ed’s hair and it’s considered the top anime for a reason.
4th Rule, stop bullshitting with your high fantasy setting.
Case and point, this was a good anime . . . . it had some flaws but, we will focus on the rule here. . . .Why do the protagonists save for Tatsumi have dyed hair, pompadours and headphones?
Why is their setting ALL over the place? Cafes, fashion, restaurants, if the capital is on the cusp of rebellion, why is every place beside the shipyard pretty?
Not to mention, what time period are they in? If they are gonna have their protagonists dye their hair let everyone dye their hair and make it a nation that specializes in the exports of fancy dye or something!
5th Rule, stop it with the archetypal bullshit. . . . . .
Evangelion made this girl, they made it work, it had a reason, the rest of you piss off.
Yeah and then there is this gem. . . . . .
Stop making the cutesy ditz, the solo introvert, the loser who gets girls for some reason, and stop recycling the SAME EFFING laundry list of DIALOGUE! STOP IT!!!
6th Rule, stop introducing your characters awkwardly and stupidly. . . . . .
There is this one
and if you currently watch Toonami,
This is a bit more D/l. Basically, they have been doing this for years or a long time, and then during their screentime the enemy they are facing is THIS MOTHAFUCKA RIGHT HERE! That they are going to explain what they are, why they do what they do, and what they are doing it for (Corpse princess.) They have been doing this for years, why stop to explain shit now?
Or Dimension W that awkwardly has this woman say the pwotagonists name that she has known for years, not on first or last name, but full name with a dramatic pause at the end. She never does this again, she addresses him like people whose names are not Ted Cruz address people, normally.
Basically, it’s bad.
7th rule, stop having your enemies switch sides just because you kicked their asses. Actually have the stones to end their lives , stop sparing just because it is convenient for one character.
-_-......I don’t think I need to explain this one for some reason. . . . . . .
8th Rule, stop killing people just to be edgy,
Actually make me give a damn about who you are going to kill LONG before you kill them. Don’t make an otherwise unimportant character start having some speech time to get you inside their heads seconds before you are about to murder them, that is obnoxious as fuck and its ratchet, stop it.
9th rule, do what Miyazaki did and meet people and talk to them . . .
Stop making archetypes because you aren’t social, get out more and design people based on PEOPLE, not your image of people!
10th rule, for the love of god if you are in a world of death and war and fighting, sack up and kill your good guys.
Naruto was a show with a stupidly large cast that was trained for tactical espionage and exercising of force of lethal tools and skills to secure the country’s interest.
The world of a Ninja was supposed to be filled with death and hardship, and it never was unless your name is Neji or Sarutobi or Chiyoh or Haku and Zabuza.
Seriously? That’s all they had the balls to kill? Now we have all these little munchkins running around for a spin off....Oh joy.